This weeks 100 word piece for Friday Fictioneers. Photo by Roger Bultot.
His voice was barely a whisper, “Does he know you’re here?” I swallowed softly and lifted my face to touch across his cheek. “No” was all I could manage as the heady smell of him inflamed my skin sending a thousand tiny lightning bolts pulsing beneath my flesh.
I leaned into the fire, his touch like the blaze of burning sun. These feelings like a saw cutting loose the chains around my heart. I could almost hear the chains being sliced. Hang on… that was a saw. I pushed at his chest, ran to the window and just heard the roar of the tree as it fell. “Damn”
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That was an awful interruption! Good short though:>)
Well done. There have been a few “tree falls on adulterous lover” tales this week. Love (or at least jealousy) must be in the air (or the blogosphere)!
I loved “a thousand tiny lightning bolts pulsing beneath my flesh.” Also loved how the chainsaw played into the love scene…then she realized it was an actual saw!
I would recommend two extremely minor changes/typo corrections. In the first sentence, I think you need a period after “whisper.” In the second sentence of the second paragraph, “lose” appears to be a typo (should be “loose”).
Yes, Jealousy seems a popular theme, perhaps it a full moon 🙂 Thanks for the proof read, I think I need to adapt the mantra more haste less speed, lol
There’s something almost poetic about your car being pinned down by a tree outside the place where you’re up to no good. Nice one, very sensual. I think that should be ‘you’re here’ rather than ‘your here’.
I think it’s Karma, lol. My spelling is getting worse, thanks for the check 🙂
Favorite line: “I leaned into the fire.” (smile) ~ Bill
I love how you used the words ‘chain’ and ‘saw’ repeatedly to build to your, ahem, climax.
Very well done, darling.
lol, why thank you 🙂
Hi Helen,
Just when passions were stirring! What a rude interruption. ron
and an expensive one I’d imagine, lol
You fanned a lot of flame into these 100 words Helen. I was totally captivated. 😀
A captivating read, I enjoyed some of your descriptions. With you on the theme this week, even called it ‘Karma’ – eek how stereotypical 😉
Dear Helen,
I guess you could say he did know she was there. 😉 Good one.
shalom,
Rochelle
Well done.
Thanks
oopps. Not a nice way to get caught. Was a great read though. 🙂
Thank you 🙂
More than the car got crushed in this story. Nicely done.
Thank you, thats karma for you, lol
Nice one Helen, was her husband a tree surgeon by any chance? 🙂
Quite possibly, lol
haha well done 🙂 very much enjoyed this story ^^
You folks sure are hard on them cheating lovers; or at least their cars.