It’s time for the wonderful Friday Fictioneers (even though it’s only Wednesday). A 100 word photo prompt from the lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Why not give it a go, just follow the link and take a stab,
She flailed, she kicked and she desperately tried to keep her head above water. Exhaustion pulled her down. She fought; she craved the air just above the surface. Nearly there, it was just within her grasp. But again she went under. The cold liquid vice imprisoned her limbs, each futile stroke lighter than the last. She tasted the water and the salt of her tears.
As the darkness consumed her and called her to sleep, she whispered goodbye to the disappearing boat. Her husband Robert, the only beneficiary of her million dollar life insurance, whispered a much drier farewell.
whoa, love the evil surprise twist 🙂
I loved this, especially the last line – “…whispered a much drier farewell”!
Great Helen, but the sadness of such a lonely death. Evil husband!!!
Ah.. nothing better than a murder story… Great write
Let’s hope Robert runs into trouble at sea (or elsewhere.) Love your double meaning of “drier.”
janet
lol, definitely 😉
You’re evil you are LOL
Very good though, I enjoyed it.
Me evil, never. After all, if it was the other way round I’d have just hit him with a brick, much quicker 😉
Hmm, good tip. Your well worth knowing you are.
Have you had any thoughts on linking yet?
I thought you were giving me the idea and I was starting it off. I didn’t like to say anything. You might have thought me a stalker.
oh, lol. Why do you think I didn’t call for the mountain rescue when you were entombed in ice!!! I’m not good at initiating….. have you had any ideas?
I’ll tell you what. I’ll email you something tomorrow and you can take it from there. How’s that?? Short story or poem, that’s all you’ve got to tell me, I’ll take care of the rest.
That’s like saying ham or cheese…. how do I decide??? Shall we start with a poem, maybe do a story later, what do you think?
Well it’s fifty-fifty LOL
Ok let’s do it.
I’ll send you part of a poem tomorrow and you can add some and we’ll see where it goes.
Ok, great 🙂
It’s a deal. 😄
Particularly like the first paragraph…some nice description. Good job.
This is awesome and very fitting for The Narrows. The Narrows have a strong current and few places to get to shore. Really well done.
Tom
Great fun… wow… what a sinking feeling.
From one Helen to another, the above was a fine mix of sensory and evil!
Dear Helen,
Ouch! You went right for the jugular on this one. I hope Richard’s boat sinks and he’s eaten by Paul’s sea creature. Good job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Liked the way you narrated this one.
🙂
A great story. Very effective narration!
Just one itty-bitty correction–a typo in the first paragraph: the word “stoke” was probably intended to be “stroke.”
Oh, thanks for that. It happens every time, I really need to spell check, lol 🙂
Wow. You pulled me under right along with her. Then the last line hit me like the final weight. Well written.
Nicely done!
Thank you 🙂
Oh, bad form Robert! Helen, you captured the choking agony in a poetic way. Nice!
Thanks, I hope karma’s waiting at the quayside, lol 😉
Great description and sense of futility.
Thank you 🙂
Oh just excellent! Your description of her drowning was really good. This was just an such a well done story, Helen!
Actress Natalie Wood came to mind immediately as I read your story. Good descriptions and narration.
You get first prize, lol. That was actually who I was thinking of when I wrote it 🙂
Dark and chilling! Wow. Dynamic working of the prompt.
Thank you 🙂
Absolutely wonderful. I love your writing – I’m hooked!
Thanks for liking 🙂
Whoa, this is icy cold at the end! Great take on this, Helen. I like the tasting of the water and of her tears. Great writing!
Thank you 🙂
AnElephant loves a chuckle in the morning!
Seriously, this is just terrific, great piece of writing.
Dear Helen,
I get second prize. Natalie came to mind as soon as I read her husbands name. The movie Brainstorm was totally hosed because she died in the middle of the filming. ANd he got a way with it, do you think?
Great story. (With respect, I’m aflayed the word you’re looking for is ‘flailed’ instead of ‘flayed’. Let me know if I should just shut the hell up.)
Aloha,
Doug
Well done on 2nd place, no prize I’m afraid :). We will never know the real truth, from what I’ve read she was a troubled soul. It was my attempt to hit the historical angle. And thank you for picking up the error, I wish I could say it was intended, but alas I only saw it now you’ve brought it up. Never ‘shut the hell up’, all crit greatly appreciated 🙂
That bastard!