The Singer

Believe it or not it’s Wednesday again and time for Friday Fictioneers. This weeks attempt at a 100 word photo prompt from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Every week I join the ranks of nearly 100 others, why don’t you follow the link and give it a go.

Copyright - Sandra Crook

Sasha stood on the stage and pictured it all. The cotton infused curtains that billowed in the sky. The blaze of the sun as it spotlighted her form.  She imagined the crowds that would line the warm steps; the mothers, the fathers, the sons and the daughters. She could almost taste the anticipation as it wove through the hush. It glistened on the surface like specks of fine sand and she could reach out and catch it in her palm. She caught her breath as it stilled in the silence.

“One day” she whispered, “One day it will be me”.

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23 thoughts on “The Singer

  1. Dear Helen,

    Specs is, or probably should be, spelled ‘specks’, unless you wrote it that way on purpose. I’d have used ‘sense’ instead of taste only because I have a hard time picturing the tasting of anticipation. Fourth sentence ought to read, ‘She imagined…’ in stead of ‘She could imagine…’ Saves you words and simplifies the visual.

    This story heads in the right direction and gets there with purpose. I think it is well imagined and conveys your thoughts perfectly.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • Hi Doug,

      1) Specks – you’re right.
      2) I prefer taste – I was thinking bitter, tangible, back of your throat type of taste.
      3) Imagined – you’re right.

      So I’ll take 2 out of 3, lol. I really do appreciate the critique, so I’m off to hastily edit 😉
      Cheers
      Helen

  2. Do rush off to edit hastily, rather than to hastily edit (splitting the infinitive – and I know you aren’t American so you can’t get away with it :)) Seriously, a very atmospheric story about someone’s urge to perform – or just get famous. She might find that reality isn’t like her dream though, if, like me, she and her voice are paralysed by stage fright! I will be doing it again though. 🙂

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