It’s that time again, Friday Fictioneers. A 100 word photo prompt hosted by the wonderfully creative Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Each week more and more attempt the challenge. Follow the link, have a go or just read the wonderfully diverse offerings.
A porter approached from the side,
“Can I take your coat Sir?”
“Nah, I’ll keep it” Paul shot back.
Still clutching his invite, he moved forward.
The smell of rain, moss and decay hit his nose. He froze.
Up ahead a pencil-thin redhead put her foot onto the far ramp. A sudden gust of air filled the passage way.
“Argghhhhhhhhhh”
The ground opened and then closed just as quickly. The redhead was gone.
He swallowed.
Perhaps he should have brought a better present!
He hated these damned themed parties. ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom’, my arse.
“Perhaps he should have brought a better present” — rang so authentically like a line from one of the movies. I pictured Harrison Ford throwing the Nazi off of the zeppelin, and then saying “No ticket.”. Well done, darling!
Lol, that’s the style I was aiming for, glad you got it 🙂
LOL great tale & ending 🙂
Well done Helen, theme parties can be fatal, especially of the type your character attended.
Cute – definitely feeling the Indy vibe:)
I was imagining the giant rock rolling down the alley, as it did in the cave and tunnel in the first movie. 🙂
Just a couple quick things. You have “tanned-looking” and then shortly after, “strange-looking” (both needing hyphens, as does “pencil-thin”.) But you could easily just say the first man was “tanned”, unless he had a fake tan. The one thing that confused me was having the good line about bringing a better present in quotes. If someone said it, it would refer to the redhead and would need to be “she” rather than “he.” That’s what I thought at first and threw me off your real meaning. If you removed the quotes, it makes sense.
janet
I have a pet hate for hyphens, lol. Thanks for the critique, I’ve re edited accordingly 😉
And look at the words you gain if you want to use them elsewhere. 🙂 Glad to be of help.
Great fun. Coincidently I saw on Facebook today a themed wedding – batman style. Themed parties, especially ones which swallow the guests are just as bad.
Hahahahaha! Perfect! Attitude, everything. Wonderful.
Helen, week after week, you go in such creative and fun directions. Well done, as usual!
Brilliant, made me smile early on a windy Thursday!
What’s the point of a themed party if it isn’t absolutely authentic, I guess 🙂
Great take on the prompt Helen.
I never knew present-buying was so key. Good one.
Cool one really has to avoid those theme parites! Great read!
LOL! Loved it!
Great idea for a party. I wonder how they got the ground to open up? Maybe the party was in San Francisco!
Seems like the Redhead chose… poorly! Hope Paul has better luck. A fun story!
Uh-oh. I try to always bring a bottle of wine to a party — but suppose it’s the wrong kind?? Fun story, Helen — you made me smile with The Temple of Doom reference and the ground opening up!
LOL thanks for the chuckle 🙂
How cool-wonder if it was really themed party or real demons playing humans? 🙂
What fun! 🙂
Those themed parties are so annoying; especially when taken to such limits!
Great story. Your dry humor suits it well.
Dear Helen,
Unique take. I want to know how the host made the ground open and swallow the redhead. Nice one.
Shalom,
Rochelle