I follow this path, this wearisome road,
Repeating the burden, increasing my load,
Tomorrow revisiting the mistakes of today,
Repacking mortar so the walls don’t give way,
The anger of circumstance, the life that I lived,
Rejected possibilities, the chances I’ve missed,
The rise of self-loathing that comes to the fore,
Fighting small battles but never joining the war.
First there’s excitement, the taste of the new,
Then comes the fear, not knowing what to do,
Followed by voices that increase in my head,
Mounting anxiety and the feeling of dread.
I’ve loaded the barrel and lined up the sight,
I’ve pulled the trigger and I aimed it just right.
The hole in your heart that I planted there,
Is my one validation that no one should care.
For I see through the eyes of a woman alone,
And carry the scars of the life that I’ve known.