Never Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth

So here we are again for ‘Friday Fictioneers’. An addictive weekly photo prompt with only 100 words to play with. Over 100 people every week can’t be wrong, get yourselves over and read the others, then just jump right in.



Under the mid-day sun, Paul’s collar tightened around his throat. He stuck a finger between flesh and cotton so he could breathe. Beads of sweat slid down his back. With a hand in his pocket he re-adjusted his crotch, his hand lingered a little longer than it should.

From across the decorated courtyard, Maria smiled. He squirmed a little more. The music began and her father took her arm,

“Are you ready?”

She nodded.

Paul looked beyond her, catching her sister Julia to the left,

“Tasty” he thought, as his hand went to rattle his loose change again.

31 thoughts on “Never Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth

    • I love this flash prompt but the challenge is trying to write something different each week. I tend to ramble, be too descriptive so I’ts good practice for showing not telling 🙂

  1. Oh, the cunning and treachery! That first paragraph, I could tell Paul was pretty “anxious” about all this. But, seeing Julie and him thinking what he did? Yikes!

    Great story, Helen!

  2. “his hand went to rattle his loose change again” is quite possibly the best euphemism I’ve heard in quite a while, darling. Very well done on this one, as per usual.

  3. “Rattle his loose change” eh? I’ve never heard that before, but I kinda like it! Skeevy old bastard, that Paul. Hope Maria gets out before it’s too late!

  4. Something tells me this guy could start a family feuding. He seems to be planning a dangerous game and he may very well come our a big loser. Of course he’s already a loser. Good story and well written.

  5. Very enjoyable Helen, loved the reference to loose change – the boys in school used to say it and laugh, took years before I knew what it meant – but that’s another story!!
    Well done, as usual

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