So here we are again for ‘Friday Fictioneers’. An addictive weekly photo prompt with only 100 words to play with. Over 100 people every week can’t be wrong, get yourselves over and read the others, then just jump right in.
Under the mid-day sun, Paul’s collar tightened around his throat. He stuck a finger between flesh and cotton so he could breathe. Beads of sweat slid down his back. With a hand in his pocket he re-adjusted his crotch, his hand lingered a little longer than it should.
From across the decorated courtyard, Maria smiled. He squirmed a little more. The music began and her father took her arm,
“Are you ready?”
She nodded.
Paul looked beyond her, catching her sister Julia to the left,
“Tasty” he thought, as his hand went to rattle his loose change again.
helen midgley 
Very good! I tried my hand at flash fiction today. But I had six words and a 500 word count limit. Not quite so demanding.
I love this flash prompt but the challenge is trying to write something different each week. I tend to ramble, be too descriptive so I’ts good practice for showing not telling 🙂
Oh, the cunning and treachery! That first paragraph, I could tell Paul was pretty “anxious” about all this. But, seeing Julie and him thinking what he did? Yikes!
Great story, Helen!
Thanks for reading 🙂
“his hand went to rattle his loose change again” is quite possibly the best euphemism I’ve heard in quite a while, darling. Very well done on this one, as per usual.
Thanks 🙂
The wee scoundrel!
Of course 😉
Dirty rotten b******!!Very well written Helen-am still shuddering 🙂
Deviant.
: )
Oh no! This story fills me with dread and loathing, Helen. Congratulations on making me feel so strongly about the characters.
“Rattle his loose change” eh? I’ve never heard that before, but I kinda like it! Skeevy old bastard, that Paul. Hope Maria gets out before it’s too late!
This is a great story because it seems so true to life. Paul should be sweating what with “rattling his loose change” like that in public. Yuck! He’s a bit of a perv.
Great descriptions in this, from the finger in the collar to the loose change. I don’t like pervy Paul at all!
Dear Helen,
Rattle his lose change? OMG, I nearly spewed coffee through my nose. Well done and cunningly subtle.
Shalom,
Rochelle
this made my skin crawl… and i mean it as a compliment 🙂
Lucidly written.
Something tells me this guy could start a family feuding. He seems to be planning a dangerous game and he may very well come our a big loser. Of course he’s already a loser. Good story and well written.
yik.. that was some kind of guy.. I think this will not end good (but I guess Maria’s father has a shotgun).
Men can be… well, change rattlers. A well told story. Thanks.
Dear Helen, So is that what they call it these days? You are Brilliant! Funny and so picturesque with your words! Thanks, Nan 🙂
Hmm, Paul’s sounds like quite a catch 😉
Brilliant portrait of Paul. Definitely one to avoid at parties. Poor Maria.
Yuk! I hope someone rattles his change until it’s loose change. Well done, Helen.
janet
Very, very good. I’m not sure if I was aroused or disgusted. Or maybe a little of both. Gah, so good!
Love, Renee
By the way the Virginia Woolf quote rocks!
Thank you. I love that quote too, although I’m still waiting for the money, 😉
Ha! You tickle me.
Very enjoyable Helen, loved the reference to loose change – the boys in school used to say it and laugh, took years before I knew what it meant – but that’s another story!!
Well done, as usual
Dee
Not a nice fellow is Paul. Something of him in all of us?
AnElephant loves this.
You write terrific tales superbly well.