Revenge

So it’s Wednesday again and time for my weekly fix for ‘Friday Fictioneers’. A 100 word piece of fiction based on an ever changing photo prompt. I really can’t recommend it enough, get yourselves over and give it a go, read the others and join in.

copyright-erin-leary-2

The morning dew glistened across the fence, tiny shards of diamonds that sparkled in the sunrise. The putrid stench of pitch and smoke still hung in the air, waiting, watching, too frightened to leave, in case last night was forgotten.

Fear was the kindling for what happened last night and ignorance and cowardice fanned the flames. There had been no escape. Or so the retreating soldiers had thought.

The screams of the burning, the maimed and the dying now echoed in the breeze and she vowed to carry those voices to the ends of the earth.

Revenge would not be silent.

46 thoughts on “Revenge

  1. “The putrid stench of pitch and smoke” — this is an amazing phrase that read like poetry to me. The back and forth of the P and S worked very well.

  2. I love your description of the dew. And the smoke hanging around too afraid to leave. And the second paragraph with the flames.
    Hell, I loved all of it!

  3. Hells Bells!

    Really enjoyed reading this, especially: “Fear was the kindling for what happened last night and ignorance and cowardice fanned the flames.”

  4. i was about to say that i loved the second sentence, it’s gorgeous.. but then i realized that the entire story was filled with beautiful lines. wonderful choice of words. πŸ™‚

  5. Dear Helen,

    Your entire piece was brilliant, each line following the next as it should, carrying the story forward with contrast and clarity. And what a story. From its quiet, beautiful beginning to its violent middle and startling conclusion, Revenge was pitch perfect and nearly seamless. It promises, and then upon rereading it, the reader sees that those promises will be kept and woe to the retreating soldiers (a lovely line in and of itself) who left one alive to tell the tale. Excellent.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  6. Wonderfully crafted story, Helen! Although I do like the second line very much, the third, “Fear was the kindling for what happened last night and ignorance and cowardice fanned the flames” is so universal for so many different scenarios that it has to stand as the best to me. Stellar.

    janet

  7. Dear Helen,

    All has been said. I can never say it with as much eloquence as Doug but I echo the sentiment. Beautifully disturbing imagery that haunts all five senses. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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