I’m afraid it’s another light weight version this week for Friday Fictioneers. My deep and meaningful seems to have buried itself so deep I’m struggling to find it. At least I can rely on the other 100 + contributors each week to keep up their end of the creative talent pool. I’ll just be treading water till somebody throws me a life jacket, or a brick……
The waiter brought the soup and left. Meryl scanned the restaurant, mouthing a sort of half whisper, half mime
“Did you hear about Mavis?”
Distracted by the winking fish eye, Deirdre didn’t look up,
“Mavis who?”
“Bert heard it in the Butchers; said Bob at number 6 had heard it from Big Bertha at the Café”
“Heard what?”
“Mavis Smith has run off to Cyprus with a tattooed trawlerman”
“Mavis Smith!” Deirdre raised her eyebrows.
“She hasn’t run off with a trawlerman, she’s got onto that net thingy, the internet”
“Bloody Chinese whispers” muttered Meryl struggling to lift the soup with her chopsticks.
helen midgley 
Don’t underestimate the light. It’s good to smile and you made me do that 🙂
Great use of dialogue!
Haha nice! I love that game!! 🙂
I always thought it was Japanese Whispers….
Either way, you made me grin.
Maybe it’s a translation thing, over here there Chinese whispers. I wonder what there called in China? 😉
Now this is funny, Helen. In New Orleans, we call the game ‘telephone’. Still chuckling…
Ellespeth
It was even funnier with the British accents, Helen. 🙂
janet
That last line was a killer. Well done.
Dear Helen,
A wonderful and witty use of dialog and alphabet. I love it that you’re here on the net thingy with us.
Aloha,
Doug
Funny and clever! I can well imagine these two meeting up for their weekly gossip session. And now I have an awful vision of an eyeball bobbing up and down in a bowl of soup.
HAHAHAHAHA! A laugh out loud for you, Helen! Funny, FUNNY! That ending was almost like running salt into the wound in a funny way that made me laugh even more. You got so much going on in that story, though, lot of mileage out of 100 words. Bravissimo!!!
The names you chose made this even more delicious. Well done.
LOOK AT ALL THE NAMES!! 😉
Nice take on the prompt, very believable dialogue. Oh, and never ever apologise for not being deep and crisp and even. It makes the rest of us look bad!
Dear Helen,
Loved the story, but absolutely adored this line from the intro: “I’ll just be treading water till somebody throws me a life jacket, or a brick……” I was laughing so hard, almost fell of my chair. Keep it up! 🙂
Helen, That was great treading. 😀 Hilarious story and well written. It sounded very real, and I could just see it. She thought she had some breaking news there. Mavis is going to wonder why people look surprised to see her still at home. Well done. 🙂 —Susn
Way. To. Go. Mavis!
Dear Helen, I’m so glad I’m in this writing club “thingy” with YOU because you make me laugh so much!! You are so absolutely clever and witty! I love the Eyeball Soup – is that on a menu in a restaurant for real? GREAT story and you are brilliant, as usual! Nan 🙂