Wednesday already and time again for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 words of fiction created from a photo prompt and a spark of an idea.
Last week was manic and I didn’t get chance to catch up with everyone’s pieces, I promise to do better this week.
Original Photo : Dawn Landau
The sun had reached its highest, smudging the tops of the ash trees along the track. Summer thunder rumbled in the distance. She felt the darkness seeping in, tunnel walls closing around her, feet dragging towards an escape she couldn’t find.
Then in the distance… light… bringing her back and once more grass beneath her feet.
Memories back and forth; scattered clothes… bodies writhing…. her husband… her sister, the taste of bile that rose from her throat as she turned and ran.
The train was coming, she felt its breath chasing at her back. She lay down and let the light fade into black.
25 thoughts on “Letting The Light Go Out”
Oh my…this is a sad one. Poor thing – I hate to see her give up! Your piece builds the tension well.
Thank you 🙂
If i read this right, she found her sister and husband together and the rest is her internal struggle, and perhaps even a physical one, trying to get as far away from them as she can.
Hi Dawn, yes spot on, or that’s where my head was taking me anyway 🙂
A double betrayal, how cruel. Well-paced.
Thanks fro reading 🙂
I’m going to pretend that she lay down at the side of the tracks and not between them. I can’t tolerate the thought of setting the two betrayers free in this way. Good one Helen.
I agree, Sandra!
These two will have to live with this for the rest of their lives, and this will rot their relationship. She would have deserved better, though. So sad, the desperation is so well told.
A great story of a woman’s internal turmoil after a terrible betrayal. Very nice!
An awful way to go. Well written, as always. The sadness and air of defeat/surrender came across well.
This is so emotional. You really set the feeling with the “tunnel walls closing around her…” Very well written.
This has such a lovely sway between darkness and light, anger, denial, and hopefully not giving up.
Beautifully written Helen.
That’s terribly dark. especially as we make our way into spring.
Somehow I had hoped she would find the real light at the end.. but maybe she got there finally…
What an ordeal, Helen. I hope her future is free from this rotten past. Nicely written, as always.
Wow, Helen! This one really pulled me down… and under. A horrible ending for her, already in a bitter place! Again, wow.
Oh dear. She sure showed them.
They weren’t worth it 😦 These sorts of suicides – on the train tracks – happen almost monthly in our area.
Very well written piece, Helen.
Upsetting piece – with a title that aptly foreshadows and captures the piece.
Dear Helen, Very sad story with no chance of hope. You are a wonderful writer and can spin words into the most clever tales! Nan
Gee, Helen, I think the wrong people died here.
Brilliant as always.
Powerful and dramatic … loved it.