Wednesday already and the weekly rush to try and create something from nothing. Something that’s worthy of the fabulous Friday Fictioneers. A 100 words of fiction (nobody dies if you happen to go over) based around the photo prompt provided. If you haven’t tried it already, where have you been??????
Photo Copyright : David Stewart
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She whispered “Thank you”
He didn’t answer, just lowered his head, inhaling her breath with his own.
She pulled back, losing her footing but his arm reached out and caught her.
He let go. She stepped back.
She put the gun in her pocket, turned, and left for home.
He watched her go.
In the kitchen, the acrid smell of whiskey and gin, cigarettes and loathing, lay heavy in the air.
“BITCH” hissed across the worktop.
Her first shot, a soft crescendo rippling through his flesh. The second through bone, the crisp sound of cymbals shattering like glass and the third through his heart, one last beat of the drum.
helen midgley 
Nice use of muscial metaphors at the end!
Thanks 🙂
Help me understand this. To me, the first guy sold her the gun, knowing she was going to go home and kill her abusive husband.
How am I so far?
I was thinking more a lover who’d given her the gun, so nearly spot on 😉
Whoa! What a beautiful job you did comparing the gunshots and their results to musical sounds. Disturbing – but good.
Thank you 🙂
Interesting take. i like it.
DJ
Thanks 🙂
I think he’s history. I hope she has an exit strategy. “He had it commin” reminds me of the musical “Chicao” which had this song in it. Great job Helen! Nan
Thanks Nan 🙂
I’m intrigued but struggling to discern metaphor from reality.
Think they were a little blended, thanks for reading 🙂
I love the way you’ve carried through the musical theme to the end, and a very descriptive death scene. Nice story!
I haven’t killed anyone for a while so thought I’d throw a murder in 😉
Brilliant story, Helen! Such a tense sense of atmosphere at the start, and false sense of relief as she walks away. The way you tied instrumental notes to the death scene is simply perfect. This isvone of my favorites!
Aww, thanks 🙂
What a brilliant end..the abuse ending in that final movement of their symphony.
Thanks Bjorn 🙂
Very tense. I like the way you change the direction of this after the very sensual beginning, and the ‘musical’ flavour of the murder scene is great.
Thank you 🙂
Keeps us wondering until the very end – and then we have the excellent comparisons of the three shots to different musical souds. Cleverly done, helen. 🙂
Very slick Helen, I loved it. 🙂
I don’t know how you managed to write so beautifully about murder (or justifiable homicide), but your gorgeous writing took my breath away. The last paragraph, in particular, is perfection.
I had to read this twice to get it all, but it was worth the effort. Well written.
Dear Helen,
When it comes to music and murder, timing is everything. Well played.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear helen,
I tip my hat to your imaginative use of music as metaphor. This story was well written and made me think of nourish stories of the past and murder and marriage and, of course, the music. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug