Another Friday, another Friday Fictioneers. A 100 words (approx) of fiction based on the photo prompt provided. My inspiration this week comes from the film ‘Philomena’. I only watched it this week and it’s still floating about in my head.
Photo Copyright : David Stewart
I remember tiny moments of hope that lit up the darkness, pockets of familiarity that happened by chance. In the distance, beyond the gate; the rumble of a truck or the anxious tap of heels rushing past the walls. Somehow, in those moments, the air always seemed a little lighter, its hold a little looser.
But between the laundry and the chores, the prayers and penitation, those moments never lingered, they just bled away quietly through a river of dirty water.
Now I’m on the outside looking in, only its empty shell remains. And I’m still searching for that hope and the child they took away.
helen midgley 
What a sorrowful story. Beautifully written.
Rosey Pinkerton’s blog
Thanks for reading 🙂
Such a sad story.
Writing about sad is so much easier than feeling it and I’m all for an easy life 😉
Dear Helen,
Beyond the subject matter and the sadness and longing lies the wonderful way your writing carried the story. For this you can be proud and mark this one down as a good one and worthy of returning to to find its quiet rhythms again and think on how you did it. Good job.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks for such a fab comment Doug, I really do appreciate it 🙂
Brilliant writing, Helen. Very moving story.
Thanks Amy 🙂
That last line hit me right in the heart!
Its best to aim for the heart, better than the leg anyway 😉
Lovely writing!
Thank you 🙂
I agree with Doug. You set the story up well by your choice of words. Great read!
Thanks for the great comment 🙂
Sad and moving. May I add one little suggestion? I don’t believe “penitation” is a word. Perhaps you want “penitence?” 🙂
janet
Ha ha, I was hoping no one would notice, I couldn’t trace it either but I know I’ve heard the word before, I’m from an Irish Catholic family 😉 and the sound of “penitence” just didn’t seem to fit for me. I’m a rule breaker 🙂
Beautifully written and so sad.
Thank you 🙂
The poetic tone to this piece adds the tender longing of a life lived in regret. That movie moved me too, stayed with me for a while, as will your story, Helen. You are so gifted at placing each word perfectly beside its mate.
Ahh Dawn, thanks for such a lovely comment 🙂
A sad story, so beautifully written. I need to go see that film now.
Very sad and beautifull written. I hope she finds that hope and that child.