Time again for Friday Fictioneers. A 100 words of fiction (or thereabouts) loosely based around the photo prompt provided. It’s funny how imagination brings so many different takes on the photo. Get yourself over and drown in the creative waters of the 100 or so weekly swimmers.
Photo Copyright : Dale Rogerson
He was drowning inch by inch.
Another bead of sweat pooled on his lip. His clammy hands rhythmically furled and unfurled, like a spasm or a tic. He couldn’t stop.
In their bedroom she was feverishly emptying drawers, cupboards, boxes and every second his heart expanding, till he could almost taste the palpitations.
All went quiet.
Then footsteps down the stairs.
Like a victory flag, she waved the silk scarf above her head. He sank.
The waters were suddenly receding. He’d been found out.
Looking back now, signing the divorce papers. He knew how stupid he’d been.
She would never have looked in the spare room!
15 thoughts on “Receding Waters”
Thanks for reading 🙂
I loved the description of the man’s plight. Once I found out what was happening I went back and re-read it in a new light!
Glad you wanted a second go 🙂
He was so nervous about her and then at the end I think there was something in the spare room he was really nervous about.
Thanks for reading. My idea was that he wasn’t guilty about having an affair, only mad he hadn’t thought of hiding the evidence in the spare room instead. Its funny how different readers see different things, although isn’t that what’s so great about imagination, lol 🙂
Ok good…that’s what I got.
Men are not always as clever as they think! Too late for regrets after being found out. At first I thought she was trying to kill him. I’m glad she didn’t but he’s suffering all the same.
Nicely written, Helen. I had a few goes and enjoyed it each time. It’s quite telling that he feels no guilt. I like the part where he could almost taste the palpitations. Nice one!
That was a great line, “like a victory flag she waved the silk flag above her head”. I felt it told me a lot about her. Almost as though it were less about his infidelity than about the fact she had to prove she was onto his tricks. Good one, though I confess I had to read it a few times. At first I thought she was trying to kill him.
I found some of your phrasing and punctuation confusing, so it took me a while to grasp it.
But then I am pretty dense.
I had to read it two or three times to really get the picture too. But once I did, I found it quite clever.
Ah.. never try to hid what’s obvious.. would it really have mattered if she found the evidence…?
I’m not sorry for him, and all hail to the triuphant wife. Great take on the prompt.
Like the others, I had to read this twice but it was well worth it. Kudos.