Wednesday already and time for a hit of Friday Fictioneers. A 100 words of fiction based around the weekly changing prompt, graciously hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Follow the link to join in.
Photo Copyright: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Does she do it?
Does she not?
Does she love him?
Does she not?
So many questions.
He looks at her. She knows he doesn’t see her, not really. Not the real her.
Guilt balances on her shoulders. As though emerging from water, one minute she staggers, stumbles back. The next she dances, teases delicate steps that whisper through the spray.
He thought he could heal her, wash away the past.
But she likes the dirt, likes the black that coats her soul. She’s thirsty for it.
He turns his back.
She smiles. Her tongue licking hungrily across her lips.
The drought is almost over.
Turning his back on this femme fatale may be a mistake
Oohh. And unexpected end there!
I like this. Great imagery. It has a science fiction feel to it and reminds me of films like ‘Under The Skin’ and ‘Spring’. He has no idea what he’s in for!
Dear Helen,
A bit creepy crawly feel to this piece…in a most delicious way.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Yep, he’s in real trouble. Love the description, the feel you evoke conjuring the sea in the reader’s head. And then your girl goes in for the kill. Great stuff
Great story. Nicely written. 🙂
I think he better run… she sounds like trouble.
Love the different elements at play here with this story. Romantic and sweet on the surface but definitely creepy between the lines!
Your words tease the imagination, as she does him!
Yeeks. I’m thinking she’s the last girlfriend any man will ever have…
I saw this as a mermaid or some sort of siren coming out of the deep to seduce the guy … and she has PLANS for his demise. Like a black widow spider. Whoever it is, though, the emotions came through well. Nicely done, Helen! 🙂
I read this whilst listening to the news about a man with his penis stuck in a snake’s mouth…I’m not proud of this multi-tasking, but your piece did seem to complement the news story – think she’s the snake rather than the helpful wife.
your comment made me laugh out loud, well done on such diverse multi-tasking 😉
But she likes the dirty, likes … Is a great line. Mike
She sounds absolutely terrifying.
Great story!
I love this. From the way he doesn’t really see her to her balancing the guilt until she goes in for the kill. A deadly creature, scary, but what a great character.
Chills, Helen; you do this so well. I love “guilt balances on her shoulders.” Brilliant line!
Oh dear this is worrying.
Love it.
Just terrific.
This made me smirk 😉