The Abyss

the abyss

Original Photo :  Kristaps Bergfelds

Standing on the edge,

Looking into the abyss,

I’d seen the light succumbing,

Long before it came to this,


I heard the words unspoken,

And read the empty page,

The whispered breath of reason,

Was the truth I couldn’t engage,


I’d seen the dancing figures,

In the flames that died away,

And seen their passion ebbing,

In the languor of their sway,


I’d smelt the scent of history,

That wove between the trees,

Brought down by leaves of empathy,

Like a wreath around my knees,


For the sanguinity of optimism,

That berates a barren shell,

Is the despondent melancholy,

Of despair I cannot quell.



I stand on the outside,

And watch you within,

No more than a shadow,

Or an echo therein,

I’m a barely heard whisper,

Or a memory long past,

A time that you buried,

Or a discarded first draft.

I’m the glow in your eye,

That smoulders like fire,

The spark for your kindling,

That I won’t let expire.

I’m the stars in the sky,

That light your way forward,

I’m the path that you travel,

And the continuing disorder.


 For I am the essence of all that you lost,

And a love that’s forsaken is a love that will cost.



Every time you hurt me,

You said it was the last,

And every time you lied to me,

You said it was the past,

Every time you cheated me,

You told me you were sorry,

And every time you hid from me,

You told me not to worry,

Every time you deceived me,

You promised not again,

And every time you fooled me,

You promised that was then.


Every time you said those words,

I cried a little more,

And every time I heard those words,

I died a little more.

When You Were Mine

I loved you in the springtime,

Among scented cherry bloom,

In fields of emerald meadows,

In a past when you were mine.


I held you in the summertime,

In warming rays of gold,

Our arms entwined in rapture,

In a past when you were mine.


I sang to you in autumn time,

In a lullaby of burnished hue,

The melody of heartbreak felt,

In a past when you were mine.


They came for you in wintertime,

And they gave you to another,

Glistening tears like snowflakes,

That veiled the child of mine.


Now I see you in the night time,

As shadows dance and sway,

A shape, a thought, a memory,

Of a past when you were mine.


Seasons mark the age of time,

Like the babe who grew to man,

Nature’s great atonement,

For the sin that made you mine.


I’m currently working on adapting this poem and others into an historical novella, you can read a section here.

A Story Begins

This is the opening for the idea I posted yesterday, an historical fiction story told in verse alone.  This is the mothers tale. The daughter’s tale will be the main story, including ‘Below Stairs‘  and ‘A Truth Unheard‘. Not sure if this will work, it may just be a case of feeding my historical addiction and it will go no further….

Barefoot she walked in the shadow of slums,

The hunger, cold, and disease ridden lungs,

A life that existed through sorrow and gloom,

Knowing that death would be calling too soon.


A childhood that ended by a forceful decree,

Abused by a landlord who demanded his fee.

A force that ripped sunder the innocent child,

Bloodied and broken, a beast that just smiled.


Banished from shelter as her body did show,

For the fruit of his loins in her belly did grow,

Thrown on the mercy of the devil’s own spawn,

Who violated her body each night until dawn.


She gave birth alone, just a pallet on the floor,

Shielding the child from the blood and the gore,

The blood never ceasing,  she grew ever weak,

Whispering forgiveness against a small cheek.


Wrapped in a blanket she held close to heart,

She carried the warm bundle away from its start.

Her last breath was taken on steps of grey stone,

As she prayed that her daughter need never atone.

I Can Only See You Now..

I can only see you now,

As just a thought or touch.

It even seems that on some days,

The pain it feels too much.

Its seeps within the despair I sense,

 And fuels the ache I feel,

It’s in the smell of coffee beans,

Or a tune that seems so real.


I can only see you now,

When I close my eyes to sleep,

Your face appears within my dreams,

The ones I cannot keep.

Where bodies join and passions spend,

A sheen of sated bliss,

Your tongue it steals across my lips,

 And seals a whispered kiss.


I can only see you now,

When time stands fast and still,

Tiny pockets of emptiness,

That I let your darkness fill

Postcard written memories,

 Of all the times we shared,

Of endless possibilities,

And times when you had cared.


I can only see you now,

Across a crowded street,

A tap of quickened footsteps,

But still we do not meet.

I call your name, you do not hear,

And then you fade away,

I knew I should have listened,

When you said you couldn’t stay.


I can only see you now,

As a memento of my sorrow,

I loved you then, I love you still,

I’ll love you on the morrow.

A Little Bit Of Something New (Well it’s new for me anyway)

Well, I am trying something else new. I’m a great believer in trying everything once, but in the words of the mighty MeatLoaf  “I won’t do that”….

I had a request from someone who wanted to do a podcast with one of my stories, you can listen to it here and it got me thinking. I’ve got into trouble before for thinking so try to avoid it as often as I can.   But then relented after a glass or two of wine and thought why not.

Excuse the quality – a mobile phone, a couple of glasses of red, a bag of M & M’s and a dire northern accent don’t make for a great recording….

Nobody Saw & Nobody Knew –

He Glanced at His Watch Impatiently