This is my first attempt at the The Līgo Haibun Challenge. Each week you are given two prompts this weeks are Torture and Fascination. My attempt is for Torture. If like me you love trying new things get yourself over and have a go –
It was as if the weather was an extension of her state of mind; the aura of gloom that enveloped the skyline, the cold bitter chill that seeped underneath. There was always rain, so much rain. She sat in the coffee shop, a table for one, facing the window. She watched the heavens open. Rivulets of water ran down the road splashing knee high off the pavement. She tapped her fingers on the coffee cup to the beat of the rain dropping from the canopy outside.
When he said it was over she’d begged and she’d pleaded. She’d promised to be all he wanted and more and promised to forgive and forget what she saw. He said it wasn’t love, not real love and one day she would see that. But her love was blind and she couldn’t let go. She felt the pain of the barbed wire that tightened across her heart. She felt the loneliness that stung, like salt crystals on an open wound. The coffee was cold but still she drank it.
She saw them arrive and saw his hand touch hers, the hand she once held. She saw his eyes light up just as they had shone once for her. Then she watched his smile curl up at the edges and saw him whisper in her ear. She watched as his palm pressed against the small of her back as he hurried her forward. She had come to the cafe this morning so she could watch them get married.
When love goes away
Those tortured emotions
They drown in the rain
You are so good with words. Describing the rain just made me feel like I was there (of course it helped that I’m listening to the cadence of raindrops on my porch)
Thanks Pamela, p.s. I’m keeping ‘ the cadence of raindrops’ I love the sound of that 🙂
Haha. I was thinking of using it too
Continuous rain is itself a torture. May be a genetic memory of the great flood. Excellent read.
🙂
That’s an interesting thought, you may be right 🙂
Very good. I’ll have to give one a try.
DJ
Thanks. Give it a go, I liked the idea of mixing prose with a Haibun, it’s my 1st attempt 🙂
Welcome! It’s great fun, and quite a different way of writing. I really enjoyed this – you really did set the atmosphere and scene very well. A torture, indeed.
Deeply felt torture of the worst kind. very well written! 🙂