Well, you’re not going to believe this but it’s time for Friday Fictioneers again. “What, it can’t be” you shout, “Oh yes it is” I shout back in my best panto voice. Come on in and tease your feet in the water, you know you want to…… Each week nearly 100 people attempt the 100 word photo prompt hosted by Rochelle Wisoff- Fields.
Photo copyright : Claire Fuller
I see faces I know. I know them because my heart tells me I do, but my head tells me different. It’s like my mind’s closed up shop and headed off for the summer.
Across the room sapphire blue eyes beckon me over. I’m safe with ‘blue eyes’, I can feel it. I feel at home.
There’s a girl with wet eyes, she looks at me but doesn’t really see me. I don’t like her, she’s pretty. She’s come to steal ‘blue eyes’.
“Dad, will Mum ever come back?”
‘Blue eyes’ looks at her, then me.
“The doctors don’t know, Honey”
helen midgley 
Terrible to be trapped inside your head, even if you don’t really know what’s going on.
janet
Well done. I ditto Janet’s comment.
wow this was fantastic and so chilling. and i loved the phrase “like my minds closed up shop and headed off for the summer”.
Thanks, sometimes when I see the photo’s my own mind wanders off somewhere slightly off kilter, lol 🙂
Gosh. This is really good. It took me a couple of reads to ‘get’ it but that only underlines the confusion that must come with locked-in syndrome (or else I’m just thick)
Thank you, glad you liked 🙂
Wow, just wow.
Thanks, just thanks, 😉
Excellent; I didn’t get it for a moment, but then saw it. Beautifully done.
Thank you, I didn’t want it to be outright obvious, so glad you liked 🙂
Very sad tale but so well written.
Thank you 😉
“I don’t like her, she’s pretty.”
So many good snippets in this, but I think that is my fave. Nice work.
Again.
Ahhh, thanks 🙂
Very well done! Nan
Thank you 🙂
This is excellent… The fixation with blue eyes is great.. Reminds me of “behind blue eyes” by the who
Thank you, from a who fan 😉
Wow this is really good! You got a tear out of me! (That is quite an accomplishment as I am not a crier).
Thanks for the fab comment, 🙂
Really interesting experiment with narration — having the twist come due to interruption by dialogue. Quite clever, darling!
I’m not writing this week, but I’d love it if you’d drop by my blog for a second anyway, I posted a big announcement today
Thank you 🙂 I’m loving your cover tease, bet you’re peeing yourself with excitement 😉
I’ve taken to wearing adult undergarments — don’t judge me!
(that’s what we politely refer to as adult diapers over here)
I guessed, lol. Us English women often pee at will as well. ‘Will’ gets a little miffed, but hey ho 😉
ZING! (I love that we share a similar sense of absurdist humour)
🙂
Caught it after the second read…Alzheimer’s not only steals precious memories…it steals loved ones. My mom died with the disease…
Sad and poetically written…well done 🙂
Very good, depicting the mind as a closed shop is perfect.
Thanks 🙂
Dear Helen,
It took me a couple of reads but they were worth the effort. Well done and kind of eerie.
shalom,
Rochelle
Very scary. And the reference to blue eyes makes this surreal moment seem more real.
Thanks Linda 🙂
Helen,
this is really a unique perspective to take. What a scary thing to be permanently in that state, to be tossed on the seas of sensations and half-remembered images? Great story.
-David
Thank you, I try and write something a little different each week. Practice makes perfect so they say, so I’ll keep practicing 😉
Helen,
Wow, that’s about all I can say. I like blue eyes too 🙂
Ahh, thank you 🙂
So sad. Beautifully written.
(Do you mean ‘mind’s’?
Opps, thanks for the pointer 😉
It took me a couple of readings to get this. But I got it.
Ouch. How terrible for them all… well done
Oh my goodness, this is so sad…and awful. I would hate to be trapped inside my head, to know something is wrong but be helpless to fix it.
But very well done!
Thank you 🙂
Thanks again for the like and your angle was completely unexpected. Great work!